Disconnected
Saturday, I got out of sync and ended up at home in bed with severe pain and digestive problems again.
Since my health issues, which started in January 2008, I haven't really felt myself. I have not been able to find the right schedule and foods that agree with me, and I have been learning about my physical self anew. The struggle to find some equilibrium while experiencing the roller coaster of pain and strange discomfort has brought about a few changes in my own emotional and physio-psycho makeup.
I believe in the bi-part makeup of man consisting of a body and a soul. The more out of touch that I feel with my body, the more I feel like it isn't really a part of me. It is a strange sensation to feel as though you awoke not long ago with a new body, with a new set of problems and preferences, and have to relearn all that you know.
That disconnect also enhances the soul side of my self. I feel more and more that this body doesn't define me, and that it can die and not destroy me. I have an enhanced sense of the afterlife, I guess. I feel less dependent on physical things, including my body.
Believe me, I know this whole thing sounds strange, but it's how I'm being affected by this illness. It has caused me to evaluate what is important, what is true and what I want to spend my time and money doing. I'm not there yet, but I hope to come through this a better person.
Saturday, I got out of sync and ended up at home in bed with severe pain and digestive problems again.
Since my health issues, which started in January 2008, I haven't really felt myself. I have not been able to find the right schedule and foods that agree with me, and I have been learning about my physical self anew. The struggle to find some equilibrium while experiencing the roller coaster of pain and strange discomfort has brought about a few changes in my own emotional and physio-psycho makeup.
I believe in the bi-part makeup of man consisting of a body and a soul. The more out of touch that I feel with my body, the more I feel like it isn't really a part of me. It is a strange sensation to feel as though you awoke not long ago with a new body, with a new set of problems and preferences, and have to relearn all that you know.
That disconnect also enhances the soul side of my self. I feel more and more that this body doesn't define me, and that it can die and not destroy me. I have an enhanced sense of the afterlife, I guess. I feel less dependent on physical things, including my body.
Believe me, I know this whole thing sounds strange, but it's how I'm being affected by this illness. It has caused me to evaluate what is important, what is true and what I want to spend my time and money doing. I'm not there yet, but I hope to come through this a better person.
No comments:
Post a Comment