Love Stinks

I don't love God.

That's the realization I had tonight as I was going through a sort of personal evaluation of my life. Oh, I want to be faithful. I am truly grateful for all He's done, but I'm don't think I've ever had a real love for Him. I'm not in some kind of self-loathing funk right now. I'm just thinking about my relationship with Jehovah.

The greatest command is to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart..." and I don't think that I've ever kept that commandment. Thank God it's christ's righteousness and not our own that saves us.

For starters on this God says that if we love Him we'll keep His commandments. I have greviously sinned, and I continue to sin daily. My flesh condemns me. Secondly, I don't feel like I love the Lord. I fear Him. I stand in awe. I respect Him and his power. I'm not saying that I don't emotionally love him. I don't unemotionally love him. I guess if I loved Him it wouldn't be such a struggle to find the time and the will to pray and read His word to us. If I loved Him I'd be more apt to go around bragging on Him and making others feel jealous.

I guess I feel more like an indentured servant than a child. I know that's wrong, but how does one change something like that? I'll need to work on that this week.

Food for thought: the opposite of love is not hate...it's apathy.

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On another note. About 2 weeks ago I injured my back, and it's been getting nothing but worse. I was in continual and progressively worse pain. Several days ago, I finally prayed for the Lord to heal whatever the problem was, and since that point it has gradually yet rapidly decreased to the point where I no longer even notice. I give credit to the Lord for He is good and His mercy endures forever!