I haven’t been that active on my blog as I’d have like to have been over this past 9 months or so. I usually hand write my most personal prose in a journal that I keep, and I have found it difficult to understand what is appropriate blogging material.

I feel like I need a cause to live for. Isn’t Christ and His cross my cause? It certainly doesn’t seem to be, or perhaps I just haven’t applied myself in the correct way toward that goal. Perhaps I just fight against everything the Lord wants me to pursue.

When I was a kid mowing our lawn, I would hate every moment of pushing that stupid mower back and forth on the lawn. The sweat would roll off my brow, down my chest and back. I felt stifled from the dust and clippings. It was a living hell. But, when I wanted to venture into the area that we didn’t mow, I could expend supernatural effort in making trails or even just mowing the unnecessary. It was as if the required was impossible, but nothing that was superfluous was too difficult. Is this still me today? God help me…I hope not.