Where Am I Now

Here I am. I left the pastorate, and struck out for the cut throat business world. I have pondered why I left over and over questioning my motives again and again. I am going to be perfectly honest, transparent and hopefully fair as I explain why I left.

1. I became scared because I recognized that I was getting fat and lazy. I had obviously figured out how to use minimal effort to maintain things, and I was really frightened. I know one person who is deathly afraid of ever being fat. I’m deathly afraid of ever being lazy (I’m already fat). I’ve worked harder these last three months than I’ve worked in 10 years, and I’m down to the last notch on my belt. My pants are still loose, so I’ll have to cut more holes.

I actually looked at others in the ministry who I would consider lazy, and then I evaluated myself. That’s when I realized just how lazy I was. I wanted to see if I could make it in the make it or break it world. I’m working hard.

2. I became fed up with poor doctrine. I am a Calvinist. I embrace Reformed Theology as the one true soteriology. The bottom line is that God has chosen me…not that I have chosen Him. Total Depravity. Unconditional Election. Limited Atonement. Irresistable Grace. And Perseverance of the Saints…are all undeniably true. It is a farce to say that God’s predestination could possibly be thwarted. I grew weary of dancing around the issue, and I grew weary of those who would boldly show their ignorance by accusing Calvin of the most asinine things. Now, I am a member of the Three Rivers Christian Reformed Church, and I can boldly wear my theology on my sleeve.

3. I wholeheartedly reject the traditions of the “holiness” faction of the church. This is that faction that equates good Christianity with no drinking, no smoking, no cussing and being nice. Of course, this belies the fact that some of the greatest saints who have gone before us drank, smoked, cussed, and weren’t very nice at times. I think Paul summed up my argument on this the best in Colossians:

Col 2:16-23 Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days: (17) Which are a shadow of things to come; but the body is of Christ. (18) Let no man beguile you of your reward in a voluntary humility and worshipping of angels, intruding into those things which he hath not seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind, (19) And not holding the Head, from which all the body by joints and bands having nourishment ministered, and knit together, increaseth with the increase of God. (20) Wherefore if ye be dead with Christ from the rudiments of the world, why, as though living in the world, are ye subject to ordinances, (21) (Touch not; taste not; handle not; (22) Which all are to perish with the using;) after the commandments and doctrines of men? (23) Which things have indeed a shew of wisdom in will worship, and humility, and neglecting of the body; not in any honour to the satisfying of the flesh.

So, why are we following the doctrines of men, and standards that are based in worldly ordinances? As a minister in the denomination that I was a part of, I was required to judge members based on what they drank…in direct violation of this scripture. I became more and more uncomfortable over time as I saw just how irrelevant a glass of wine or a can of beer really is.

So, I took the opportunity and left. Now, I can say what I want with relative impunity. I feel liberated. I pray that the Lord will keep his hand upon my all my days.